On Ian’s campaign of misinformation.

Contrary to what Ian likes to tell people I love kids. I like playing with them, teaching them and hanging out with them. I think we can all learn a lot from kids–their imagination, creativity and easy friendships are inspirational. I also think kids can be little assholes who need to be disciplined too.

The only grain of truth in Ian’s misinformation campaign is that babies scare the crap out of me. They make me nervous. I can’t help it. I’ve been getting better and hanging out with them and seeing Joey regularly has helped tremendously (as have my cats) but I’ll always be nervous if the entity I am with cannot communicate clearly what is wrong with them when they are upset because I will always think its me.

All my mom friends tell me that this is what a lot of moms think at first but then they begin to know the differences, if it’s a poop cry or a food cry or a crabby cry. I think that’s fine for them but my own narcissistic neurosis makes me reflect my own shit back at myself so yeah babies make me nervous. I ooh and hah and coo at all babies but I don’t want to hold yours unless I ask (and I will occasionally) because I don’t want to break it.

When they’re 5 and 6 I’ll take them to museums, play paintball, roll down hills, get them their first tattoo and be a fun aunt that spoils them–before that I’ll prolly be MIA. No offense.

Anyhow I write this as someone who loves kids but believes in discipline.

On the train today, sitting behind me was a woman and her 2 or 3 year old child. She let him do whatever he wanted without consideration for anyone else, including pulling my hair, pounding my head, running up and down the aisles screaming hitting and kicking random passengers–without apology or even a shrug or a glance of boys will be boys–it was an entitled, knowing, my child is more important than everyone here.

I spent the entire 4 hours practicing compassion. I understand sitting still is really hard for small kids and traveling can be brutal for both parents and kids and I have all the sympathy in the world for them because I’ve travelled with kids. It’s taxing and hard and enjoyable and fun but as with everything your actions and your kids actions affect other people who didn’t choose to travel with kids. I have no patience for families that don’t teach their children acceptable and unacceptable behavior because those kids grow up to be entitled douchebags just like their parents.

I love my friends and my friends kids (who are not the people I am singling out because they do teach their kids how to respect others and if there is some incident are probably overly apologetic about others inconvenience)–but yeah I am one of those people who would pay extra (if I could afford it) for child free travel.


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